Before Lieutenant Benjamin James Walder became a pilot select, he was a cadet. Before he was a cadet, he was a college student. A brother. A son. An avid outdoorsman who enjoyed skiing and fishing. A treasured friend.

 

And above all, a man worth remembering.

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His father, Jim Walder, recalls when Ben participated in the Bataan Memorial Death March during his senior year of college. Ben lugged a weighted pack throughout the grueling 26.2-mile course in the New Mexico heat. He finished well after his cousin, who braved the course alongside Ben.

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Curious why he’d taken so long, Ben’s cousin asked, “How much did you have in your bag?”

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Ben replied, “40 pounds, or something like that?”

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Aghast, his cousin replied, “Ben, you know you only had to carry 20 pounds?”

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He was never one to take shortcuts. “Ben was a little bit of an overachiever in that respect. There was no extra credit to be had – except for the blisters on his feet,” Jim remarked with a smile befitting a proud father.

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From a young age, Ben knew he wanted to serve in the military. He was a history buff, fascinated with the show Band of Brothers and anything World War II.

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According to Ben’s older sister, Jennifer Walder, he once fashioned a soldier’s Halloween costume of green Crayola face paint and a red skating helmet.

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“Ever since we were little, Ben always wanted to be in the military,” she said.

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He graduated in 2014 with a Bachelor of Arts in History at Colorado State University. He commissioned into the United States Air Force the same week through CSU’s Air Force ROTC program with an invitation to pilot training at Columbus Air Force Base, Mississippi.

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While a cadet at Air Force ROTC’s Detachment 90, Ben modelled leadership among his peers. He underwent Arnold Air Society training during his second college semester and became an active member of the AAS Captain Mark Giles Danielson Squadron in 2012.

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Captain Cameron Reese, a 2013 graduate of CSU and fellow MGD alum, shared some thoughts about Ben during his early college days.

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“Ben had that stoic, militaristic look to him…which is funny because he was anything but a jarhead,” Reese remarked in an email. “Athletic but not a meathead, smart but not a know it all, charismatic but still incredibly humble.”

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Service before self

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Ben's commitment to service was unparalleled. As an Arnie in the Arnold Air Society, Ben performed hours of community service in Fort Collins, Colorado. He also spent a year as a Resident Assistant in Summit Hall at CSU. Ben’s character shone with his community involvement, which lasted well into his time at pilot training.

 

“It was pretty exciting to watch him complete the steps that he had to complete (for Air Force ROTC),” Jim said, noting Ben’s flight physical and his “vacation” to Maxwell Air Force Base, Alabama, for Field Training. “When he found out that he got a pilot slot, he was really jazzed up. We were all very proud…still are.”

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According to Jim, Ben earned some of the highest scores during his Test of Basic Aviation Skills at F.E. Warren Air Force Base, Wyoming. He proved himself a worthy pilot candidate despite a notoriously rigorous medical and academic process.

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Ben hit the ground running at Initial Flight Training in Pueblo, Colorado, and soon enough found himself at Columbus Air Force Base for Specialized Undergraduate Pilot Training.

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“In his short time there, Ben made a ton of friends and just blended well with everybody,” Jim said. “He was just so proud of his country and representing the Air Force.”

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Yet, all was not well.

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Seeing the signs

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“When I went to visit him (during training), he was kind of fraught with anxiety and depression,” Jim said.

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Ben expressed concern about medical disqualification over a minor rash and other seemingly trivial maladies.

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Jim asked him, “You’ve seen the doctors, they told you everything looks like it’s all fixed, right?”

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Ben thought for a second and replied, “Yeah, it is.” Then, Jim recalls with a heavy heart, Ben hesitantly added, “Dad, you don’t know how dark it is in my head.”

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Ben died by suicide December 2015 at 23 years old.

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Why we run to remember

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Despite his loss, Ben's legacy lives on. His SUPT classmates at Columbus Air Force Base organized several memorials for him in the following months.

 

Jim explained one memorial where the class wrote notes to Ben, then sent them off in little boats into the local lake.

 

Those who knew Ben would know that he immensely enjoyed fly fishing in that very lake. In fact, the class even posed next to a fishing pole near the lake in Ben’s memory.

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“I think it was a good healing process for them,” Jim said.

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The Walder family is grateful that the MGD Squadron continues to hold the Run to Remember year after year in Ben’s memory.

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Jennifer ran the 2017 New York City Marathon in her little brother’s name, carrying his dog tags through all nine races required of the marathon’s 9+1 program.

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“He was there, carrying me across the finish line,” Jennifer remarked.

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Ben’s friends from AAS and CSU have since graduated, leaving no remaining squadron members who have met Ben personally. But, through stories like these, Ben lives on.

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“I know many of you have never met him, but throughout the years, I think you know him through discussions like his legacy and what the Arnold Air Society meant to him,” Jim said to a crowd of 40-something runners during the 2022 Run to Remember.

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Ben is indeed one of the most well-known people the squadron has never met — precisely what the Run to Remember strives to accomplish for both its organizers and runners alike.